Last night Mick suggested that I "surprise him with a special breakfast." Never, ever count on the possibility that your child will forget what they requested of you the night before. I lovingly and gently woke him this morning (as there was no described method requested for waking him up today) and said, "Hey! We have milk for cereal today!" (We were out of milk yesterday, when naturally, he wanted cereal.)
Mick: You were supposed to make me a special surprise breakfast!
I went down to the kitchen to find that I was woefully ill-equipped with special, surprising breakfast items. But I had a brilliant idea! Breakfast in bed! What six year old wouldn't think that was awesome?! I fixed a bowl of cereal, two sausage links, strawberries & grapes and a couple of chocolate graham crackers with peanut butter. It looked lovely, arranged artfully on a tray.
You know where this is going, don't you?
Mick: Mom! I didn't want breakfast in bed! I wanted a special surprise breakfast!
Me: Well, I thought you'd like this...
Mick: (in a perfect balance of whiny and frustrated) It's supposed to be a special surprise!
Me: Um, well... it is a surprise! You didn't know what I would bring you.
Mick: I was thinking more like pancakes.
Me: Well, that wouldn't be a surprise if you tell me what to make.
Mick: (looking as though I am the most simple-minded mother a boy could be cursed with) Mom! It's supposed to be a special surprise... like pancakes.
Which I made yesterday, because we didn't have milk for the cereal he wanted.
Me: Gee, Mick. You're hurting my feelings. I did the best I could. (A good mother can give the guilt as good as she takes it. Remember that! It's important!)
And because he is not a TOTALLY callous little boy, he dejectedly ate his cereal. Of course, he first explained he wouldn't eat the fruit, because he hadn't wanted that. I apparently missed that in the mind-message-memo he sent me on the perfect surprise breakfast.
Ok then! Breakfast is done!
Mick: (checking out the contents of his lunch bag) Mom! A boiled egg? Really?
I was too mentally exhausted at 7:42 in the morning to point out that he had requested boiled eggs for his lunch last week. So I steeled myself, bit my tongue and tried to tolerate my own inadequacies for just a few minutes longer. At 7:52 he was out the door- let him go tell the bus drivers and teachers how to do their jobs.